Jack of No Trades Read online

dismal to me. I avoided everybody possible so Iwouldn't take my troubles out on them. And I avoided Goil inparticular, for another reason. I even ate late so I could eat alone.

  Just about the time I finished, Artie's voice came over the system,saying:

  "Attention, everyone. Flash news item just received. There is afreighter out of control enroute from Ganymede to Mars. Unless thefreighter can be brought under control, it will have to be abandoned."

  So what, I thought. It's happened before. So some company loses afreighter. They're insured.

  Artie's voice went right on uninterrupted by my sour thoughts. "Thepresent course of the ship is interception of Mars. Unless the coursecan be changed, the ship might plunge into Mars."

  So what again? They're still insured. The crew can abandon ship in thelifeboats. So the ship makes a microscopic dent in Mars. It's betterthan 99% wasteland.

  "The exact point at which impact with Mars will be made is beingcomputed right now. What makes the whole thing terrible is that thefreighter is loaded with fissionable material exported from Ganymede.If the ship is not stopped or diverted before it reaches Mars, theimpact will bring all the units of fissionable material into supercritical proximity."

  And that, I realized, will not be good for Mars because the thinatmosphere of the planet will let the ship get right through to thesurface before the tough skin could get much more than cherry red. Andthe ship would bury itself in the soft red soil (how deep?) before theimpact sandwiched the containers of fissionable material enough fordetonation proximity.

  Whew! My interest began to increase.

  That was Artie Jones giving the news. He was like that, and it was notpart of his regular job. He did it because he wanted to keep people upwith the latest. He was Computers and Communications engineer.

  He finished off by saying, "Long-range scopes are looking for the shipnow. As soon as it is located and magnifiers thrown into the circuit,it will be 'vised. I'll have the signals relayed to the rec roomtrideo.

  "It is, by the way, one of our own company freighters."

  * * * * *

  Alarms clanged in my head. Yowee!

  I raced for the rec room. Nearly everybody else was doing the same.Orrin was playing a half-hearted game of cribbage with Gus. Goil satby himself in a corner reading. Willy was not there.

  Randy and Manuel were already arguing about how much fissionable afreighter like that could carry. I settled the argument by tellingthem exactly how much. They both whistled and shook their heads. Randysaid:

  "If that ship buries itself deeply enough in the surface and explodes,it'll make a neat hole in Mars."

  I looked askance at Goil and saw that he was not reading. I said,"Hole, hell! With the tonnage they have on that ship, it'll take achunk out of the surface the size of Australia. If it goes deepenough, it might even crack the planet wide open. It couldn't be anyworse."

  I wasn't at all certain anything like cracking the planet wouldhappen. Nobody could know just what sort of blast that tonnage couldmake. But I wanted it to sound really bad. I sneaked a quick look atGoil. He was looking pretty worried.

  Now, I knew our company had some real estate on Mars. A few mines, anumber of atmosphere generator factories and several gravity generatorplants. And just about this time I strongly suspected that Goil hadsome stock and other holdings in the Mars territory.

  "That's only part of it," I said. "Think of what will happen to Mars'satmosphere if that much planet is scattered around."

  "Yeah," said Manuel. "Dust. Red dust. And how about all thatundetonated radioactive material?"

  "Which will be dust also," I said, "thoroughly mixed in with all therest of the dust."

  Gus had finished his game of cribbage with Orrin and had come over. Hesaid, "The dust will shut out what dim sunlight there is and the wholeplanet will be in for a deep freeze."

  "What's the half-life of that stuff in the freighter?" I asked Orrin.I knew, but I wanted Goil to know too. Orrin told me.

  The alarm that had clattered in my brain had settled down to asoothing purr. I began to add three and three hoping to get nine.Right now I needed a gestalt of something whose whole would be a lotgreater than the sum of its parts. The parts I believe I had, and thesum I think was due to come up soon.

  I went out and headed for the computer room. Artie was in there tryingto listen to a dozen news reports at one time. He wouldn't miss any ofthem, for a flock of recorders were going all at once.

  I grabbed him by a shoulder and spun him around and looked as hard andserious as I could.

  "Artie," I said, "I know damned well you computed a course for Willythe other day, for an asteroid to orbit just outside Earth. I want youto give me the exact course, where and when. And I want it now. Thisis official business, Artie."

  * * * * *

  I must have looked extremely convincing, for Artie paled a little anddid not try to deny anything.

  "--I can't, Sam," he said. "I gave the original tapes and sheets toWilly. I threw away the duplicates."

  "Dammit, Artie!" I shouted, now really mad. "Then you'd better startremembering pretty good, because you're going to sit right down hereand I'm going to sit with you, and you are going to give me as nearlyas you can the course of Willy's asteroid."

  This was just about an impossible request. I knew it, and Artie knewit. But he sat down at the console of the computer and said:

  "I'll do the best I can, Sam."

  * * * * *

  I went to Willy's room and banged on the door then threw it open. Hewasn't there. For sure then he would be someplace he wasn't supposedto be. So I headed for one likely place.

  Willy was there all right. The chef shuffled around nervously,probably wondering if I'd just chew him out for letting Willy in thegalley, or tell Orrin. He offered me ham and eggs. I refused sharply.

  "Elmer," I said, "blast off."

  Elmer did.

  As soon as Willy and I were alone, I said, "Willy, you got me and Mr.Orrin in a pack of trouble. Why don't you tell me where the generatorand the converter are. If we can get them back to the stock room,nothing can be proved."

  Willy couldn't look me in the face. He added three too many spoons ofsugar to his coffee then stirred it so fast it spilled over the edgeof the cup.

  "Come on, Willy. Where?"

  Willy spent the next minute trying to turn inside out. He finallysqueaked. "I can't, Sam."

  "Why not, Willy?"

  It was my turn to be silent for a minute. It seemed a lot longer. Isaid, "I think you better tell me all about it, Willy."

  He did.

  I went back to the recreation room.

  The trideo was on and some narrator's voice was explaining and showingthe course of the ship on a chart, and just where it would go.

  The ship was still unaccountably out of control. The plotted courseshowed that it would intercept Mars. And a map of Mars showedprecisely where the ship would strike the surface.

  Of all the barren areas on Mars where the ship could strike and do alittle less surface damage, it was headed instead straight for theonly densely populated, industrial area.

  I looked at Goil and saw that his morale could be trod on. He probablyalready had computed his own monetary loss as well as the companylosses. But he wasn't saying a word. He was keeping his misery tohimself.

  Let him stew until morning, I thought. By then he should be ripe forthe little package I was planning to hand him.

  * * * * *

  By morning, the confidence that I had the night before had pretty muchdissipated. Nevertheless, I followed Goil from the dining hall to hisquarters, giving him only time to complete any personal necessitiesbefore knocking on his door.

  Some of my confidence returned when I entered the room. He looked asif he hadn't slept any at all. The impending doom of his Mars holdingshad apparently dwelt with him most intimately the past night.
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  Goil said, "What's on your mind, Mr. Weston?"

  "I had a talk with Willy last night. He wants to tell you everything."

  Goil brightened slightly. "Fine," he said.

  "I've taken the liberty of asking him to come here," I said.

  Goil nodded.

  This was a good chance for me to needle him a little more, so I said,"The news reports are not good this morning. That freighter will haveto be abandoned sometime this evening if they don't get it off thecourse it's on now."

  Goil dimmed again. He said, "I heard the news."

  "There is no way they can jettison that cargo either. Strange, isn'tit. Of all the other points in and around space, that ship has got topick Mars to smack into, and the only densely